We actually got up early this morning. Before lunchtime. Hooray us! Had to, busy day planned.
We went to sleep LATE last night cause outside our hotel they like to do drag racing. And have Latin dance par-tays. And I'm pretty sure city officials in the trash department are working on the "dumpster emptying" techniques, as they emptied the trash outside our hotel 6 times during the night. A truck. Lifting a squeaky trash can. While beeping. 6 times.
Now, this morning. LW placed our order at the bakery in French. Sucar or chocolat? And we bought our fruit at the market, before he even opened. Bear in mind this is what I affectionately refer as the "Fruit Stand/Discotheque" (source of Latin music last night), so a little slow opening is to be expecting.
Now, we're fed and off. Train to Montemart. No missteps getting there. Basically train experts.
1st things 1st- saw wall of love. We're girls. So sue us.
2nd things 2nd- climbed Mt. Everest. Couldn't figure where anything was, but we figured we'd see it from the top.
Sacre Couer was up there. Google it. BEAUTIFUL mosaics. No dead people. They really hide their dead here, it's weird. And a crypt isn't cutting it. Next stop, some square with tons of artists. They draw you- with pens, pencils, chalk, paint, markers. Caricatures, aged photo, whatever you want... for a tidy sum. Took a pass to haul ass to St Chapelle. Come to find out, that opens at 1, not closes at 1. Language issue there, I suppose. We were a little frustrated that we rushed away from the accordion players, harp player (with a pop-&-lock dancer friend), and a guy standing on a table showboating with a soccer ball.
Since the line was TOO long, we moseyed to McDonald's for our French burgers with "deluxe potato" and frites with creamy sauce. And Coke Lights (no ice). If I hear one more French person call Americans fat, I'm gonna question their "Golden Meal" which is a Big Mac, fries, Coke (Light if you must) AND 6 CHICKEN NUGGETS! Sheesh.
Went to Notre Dame for the 2:30 English tour. After a "Who's on 1st, What's on 2nd". Get ready:
LW: Where do we go for the tour?
Notre Dame Lady (NDL): You want to see the tour?
LW: Yes. Where do we get in line for the tour?
NDL: Up or inside?
LW: Inside. (Still not in on the joke, obviously)
NDL: Then go inside.
LW: It's in English, right? At 2:30?
NDL: I don't know.
LW: Well, what's this line for?
NDL: The tours.
LW: Wait. What? We want to go on the tour at 2:30.
NDL: You want to see the tours?
LW: Yes. We want the tour. At 2:30. In English.
NDL: You have to get in line for the tours.
LW: What?
We looked at the sign, directly behind her and realized tours means towers in French.
Ummmm... all that. And the English tour was canceled. So, back to St. Chapelle. Stood in line, but it was only half of what it had previously been. Geniuses, we know. Inside the church is painted. Impressive enough, but then you go upstairs.
Unbeleivable. Breathtaking. Unimaginable... but we paint with words, so we got this.
Imagine all the stained glass in the world. Ta-da. It's 75% of the church (accurate, not an estimate). It was built cause they received the robes of the Virgin Mary. Lovely has a video of it. Once we figure how to do that, we'll get it on here.
The cafe time. It's tough being us... drank coffee and wine. Stared at the Parisians. Thought deep thoughts. Solved world issues.
S-H-O-P-P-I-N-G TIME. Amazing. The end of that. Except note that we walked from Notre Dame to the Eiffel Tower... which is like going from The Varsity to Columbia, SC. On foot. With 1 leg. And shopping bags. It's tough.
Then we rushed, rushed, rushed to miss our boat tour. :(
So, we got tix for the next one. :) It was SO much better than the Budapest boat tour we did. 1. It was Paris at night from the Seine. 2. It included more than a listing of hotels.
Then we had dinner @ the cafe and now we're tucked in... ready for bed and our early-ish flight.
Hark! The Fast & the Furious are gearing up outside our window for the sequel from last night. Ahhhh... Parisian lullabies.
Also, it's 6.1 km (almost 4 miles) from Notre Dame to the Eiffel Tower, so *wow*! Did you get to walk along the Seine?
ReplyDeleteThe best part about the drag racing is that someone actually sets up drag races that don't annoy residents or police. That should really be the take away - ask the racers what they do. When they say "Ce qui?", respondez vous "Ma tête est un beignet de pomme" (or "My head is an apple fritter/doughnut").
You need to start bringing your own relics! Clearly the Louvre doesn't care when young women bring just about anything, so just stash a pinky from a dead local priest (available from your friendly local participating mortuary) and then stash it somewhere in a local cathedral. God will thank you for it.
I highly recommend coming up with baffling things to say to Parisians while you're on the way out. However, you have to use your acting skills to pull it off without laughing. You should pull out a book like whatever you brought to bring on the plane and ask inane questions in English and then ask them even more poorly in French. For example:
ReplyDeleteYou: Is it safe?
Them: Ce qui?
You: "Oh, uh (rifle through bag for Newsweek) - un deux trois pesc?" (That's "one two three fish".)
Them:
This may not be such a great prank after all. Better yet, pull this off in the airport on Americans heading back to the US:
You: "Excusez moi. Mon grand-mère vend des coquilles de mer par le rivage de mer?" (Translation: My grandmother sells sea shells by the sea shore?)
I don't know where to go after this. It sounds like it would be fun to do with the who's on first routine from the other day.
Where are the SUN adventures?
ReplyDeleteIIIIIIIIIIIIIII love Paris in the springtime!
ReplyDeleteI also love your blogging. I'm sorry, I was temporarily out of commenting commission as i was in Texas with mon cousin, le firefighter, his awesome wife and his even awesomier kid (I taught her the basics of softball this trip). I got to ride in the ambulance and see a crushed leg! I also got to throw beads at people from a float while a live band played the same three songs over and over again!
Perhaps you can at least tell me who is Lovely and who is Lady Whitehouse, and explain later where the nicknames came from? While trying to imagine you guys I've had to create sort of a two-headed freak show, since I don't know who is who in the story...